Milton "Mike" John Handy

Milton John “Mike” Handy, born August 11, 1932, in Bridgeport, Connecticut, passed away on April 16, 2021, in Asheville, North Carolina, at the age of 89. He is laid to rest at the Western Carolina State Veterans Cemetery in Black Mountain, North Carolina.

Mike was the son of Milton Bennett Handy and Mary Jean (La Porta) Handy, whom he convinced to move to Florida during his Navy service to escape the harsh Connecticut winters. They later passed away and were buried in Woodlawn Cemetery in Florida. He was also predeceased by his sister, Blanche Jeanette (Handy) Maynard.

He was also preceded in death by his son Michael John Handy (1962–2001); his granddaughter Cassandra Linn Wilding (1994–1994); and his transgender granddaughter Angel, also known as Bennett Handy Jr. (1987–2010).

Mike was married multiple times and was predeceased by several wives: Florence Patricia (Hoover) Handy, Margaret Loise (Smith) Handy, Barbara Handy, and Dabney Lea (Snyder) Handy. Dabney, born June 7, 1956, in Memphis, Tennessee, passed away in 2016 in Hendersonville, North Carolina. She and Mike were married for 29 years, and Mike’s daughter Mary’s children lovingly called her “Grandma.”

A proud Navy veteran of the Korean War, Mike lived a life marked by resilience, adventure, and deep love for his family. Born with spinal stenosis, he endured lifelong pain that worsened as he aged. He was diagnosed with dementia in 2007 and Alzheimer’s during the final year of his life. After contracting COVID 19 in the fall of 2020, he suffered irreversible lung damage and ultimately passed from complications of COPD.

Throughout his life, Mike worked many jobs, including as an over the road truck driver, taxi driver, and HVAC technician—training for the latter while living in Ormond Beach, Florida, in the 1970s. He raised rabbits when his children were young and was known for his restless spirit, spending years hitchhiking and traveling the country before settling down again.

Mike was the father of five children born in Orlando, Florida, between 1961 and 1966: Michelle, Michael, Mary, Bennett, and Sandra. He also had another daughter, Margaret Lois Handy, connected to him through Margaret Louise Smith, though the details of their relationship were never fully known.

He adored his grandchildren and great grandchildren, especially those he spent the most time with: James, Timothy, Charlene, and Matthew. He was a playful, energetic grandfather—an “overgrown child,” as his daughter Mary fondly remembers. One of her favorite memories is of him sitting on the floor with a giant box of Legos, racing his grandsons to grab the pieces they needed. He took the children to parks, played with them wholeheartedly, and sent them cards for every holiday—always with five dollars tucked inside. Those cards remain treasured keepsakes.

Although he divorced Mary’s mother when Mary was nine, he returned to her life when she was nineteen, and the two remained deeply close for the rest of his life. After his dementia diagnosis, he entrusted her with power of attorney. In his early sixties, he chose to move closer to her, living with her and her children many times over the years. During his final year before entering a nursing home, Mike, Mary, Charlene, and Matthew shared his last home together.

When his mobility declined and he became fully disabled, Mike and Mary made the difficult decision for him to enter Emerald Ridge Nursing Home. Due to pandemic lockdowns, families were barred from visiting. Tragically, despite these restrictions, COVID 19 spread through the facility, and Mike passed away without loved ones at his side. His family carries the weight of that loss, but also the warmth of a lifetime of memories.

Mike was half Italian but embraced the identity as if he were fully so—boisterous, loud, and full of personality. Mary remembers her grandmother often telling him, “Jr, lower your voice.” He called himself “The Italian Stallion” and “Leo the Lion,” and he had a lifelong fondness for red haired women. He loved dogs and had them throughout most of his adult life.

He is survived by his children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and all who loved him. Though his life was complicated and marked by hardship, it was also full of humor, adventure, and deep affection. His daughter Mary, who remained closest to him, will forever cherish the bond they shared.

Mike Handy lived loudly, loved deeply, and leaves behind a family who remembers him with both laughter and tears.

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